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Agent Rancette
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Sunday, 21 November 2004
Double Trouble
Last week I saw Smalltime Crooks with my boyfriend, as reported. Elaine May plays "Aunt May" whom Woody Allen has a brief affair with. (It's his wife's aunt, not his. That would be incest!)

Ok, so I'm watching The Human Stain and Anthony Hopkins' character's wife looks and sounds exactly like Elaine May. But I look it up on IMDB and it's Phyllis Newman. Whoever the heck she is. But I'm telling you, I thought they were sisters, cause they look and sound exactly alike.

Yours Truly, rancette at 5:31 PM PST
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A Gay Evening
As I was telling chitownfreak25 @ Mindsay, I went to a really good concert recently. I wasn't going to post the story here, but seeing how I've moved myself back to Tripod, and let Red Hat take over Mindsay, I thought why the heck not?

I consider myself to be straight. Most of my friends are female though, except my boyfriend and my gay friend who we'll call Michael.

I went to the concert with Leigh, my friend who has been boyfriendless for 6 months, because her boyfriend has turned gay, only I'm not supposed to know said boyfriend is gay. And she has had a couple of outside functions at work, where they will be in association with some gay parties across town. And she has attended these gay parties. Like 3 in the last 2 months!

So we're talking about her experiences at these funtions/parties/celebrations, and she's pointing out all the gay bars she's been to, when we're driving.

And I start thinking... WHAT IS A HETEROSEXUAL FEMALE DOING AT ALL THESE GAY BARS? It was really starting to freak me out. Especially since she and her friends got some pictures of her and this gay guy in "hot" poses.

So I'm asking why this guy was rubbing up against her and stuff if he was gay. She said, "Oh, I don't know. Maybe he wanted to find out if he was bi. A lot of gay guys are attracted to me, I'm like a magnet that draws them. Michael was so cute anyway."

I say "MICHAEL!? He isn't really cute is he?"


ME: He doesn't have really short, spiky hair, does he?


ME: His hair is dark?

LEIGH: Yes. Brown!

I'm freaking out, thinking my gay friend Michael just put his hand all over her ass and other places.

ME: Is he really tall?

LEIGH: Ye- no, he's as short as me, practically.

And since Leigh is shorter than me, and since Michael is taller than me, I safely assumed that this was a different Michael. Phew.

While I was glad that we were talking about different Michaels, I was still concerned that Leigh was attending all these gay functions, especially since her boyfriend has just come out of the closet. All our conversations turn to who is gay or what latest thing is going on in the gay community.

She is a really sweet girl and teaches Sunday school. However, there are just somethings that bother me about her. She'll say really weird things that are left-of-center.

I come from a very conservative home and she was trying to get me to order a Margarita when we went out. I've had a Margarita once in my life, and that's when I was in Paris. I'm not crazy about them, so I'm not going to spend $ for something that I don't want.

Anyhow, I'm really concerned about her fascination with the gay world. First, she went to these things for work, but now, I don't know. She seems very heterosexual and wants to have children, but now she puts all men down and I'm afraid she may be using a guy friend of hers. He has feelings for her, but she just wants to have a good time with him....


Yours Truly, rancette at 8:27 AM PST
Updated: Sunday, 21 November 2004 8:30 AM PST
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Saturday, 20 November 2004
The Meaning of Rance


\Rance\, n. [Etymol. uncertain.] 1. A prop or shore. [Scot.]

2. A round between the legs of a chair.

Source: Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary, ? 1996, 1998 MICRA, Inc.

Ha, I found this in the dictionary online!

free hit counter
visitors since October 24, 2004

My visitors have been from:

Alabama United States <- Huntsville, not Opelika!
Alaska United States
Alberta Canada
Alsace France
Ar Riyad Saudi Arabia
Arhus Denmark
Arkansas United States
Arizona United States
Baden-wurttemberg Germany
Bayern Germany
Bern Switzerland
British Columbia Canada
Brussels Belgium
Buskerud Norway
California United States <- must be Tad and movie producers!
Castilla Y Leon Spain
Cataluna Spain
Colorado United States
Connecticut United States
Delaware United States
Distrito Federal Argentina
Dubai United Arab Emirates
Dublin Ireland
England United Kingdom <- must be Prince Charles!
Florida United States LombardiaItaly
Galicia Spain
Gelderland Netherlands
Georgia United States
Hajdu-bihar Hungary
Hawaii United States
Hessen Germany
Hong Kong (sar) Hong Kong
Idaho United States
Illinois United States <- must be KJ!
Indiana United States
Iowa United States
Kansas United States
Kentucky United States
Lisboa Portugal
Lombardia Italy
Louisiana United States <- Must be Sass!
Maharashtra India
Maine United States <- must be Stephen King!
Manila Philippines
Manitoba Canada
Maryland United States
Masqat Oman
Massachusetts United States
Michigan United States
Minnesota United States
Mississippi United States
Missouri United States
Montana United States <- must be Annie!
Nebraska United States
Nevada United States
New Brunswick Canada
New Hampshire United States
New Jersey United States
New Mexico United States
New South Wales Australia
New York United States
Noord-brabant Netherlands
Noord-holland Netherlands
Nordrhein-westfalen Germany
North Carolina United States
North Dakota United States
Northern Ireland United Kingdom
Nova Scotia Canada
Ohio United States
Oklahoma United States
Ontario Canada
Oregon United States
Oslo Norway
Pennsylvania United States
Provence-alpes-cote D'azur France
Quebec Canada
Rhode Island United States
Rizal Philippines
S?o Paulo Brazil
Schaffhausen Switzerland
Scotland United Kingdom
Sindh Pakistan
Singapore Singapore
Sogn Og Fjordane Norway
South Carolina United States
South Dakota United States
Stockholms Lan Sweden
Tasmania Australia
Tennessee United States
Texas United States
Tokyo Japan
Utah United States
Utrecht Netherlands
Vermont United States
Vestfold Norway
Victoria Australia
Virginia United States
Washington United States
Washington Dc United States <- Could be Prez Bush wanting to know about Rance & Hollywood!!
Wellington New Zealand
West Virginia United States
Western Australia Australia
Wisconsin United States
Zuid-holland Netherlands
Zurich Switzerland

Updated: 11/25/04

Yours Truly, rancette at 3:23 PM PST
Updated: Friday, 26 November 2004 5:24 AM PST
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Friday, 19 November 2004
Blog Explosions explodes in my face!
Hi everybody in Greeneville, South Carolina! I know you're out there, because every time I check my stats, it says like 8 people from Greeneville have visited me. I thought it was a fluke the first couple weeks, because if that many people were visiting here, surely one would say hi. But as of yet, I don't know anyone from there, so show your face!

Also, you know how on Blog Explosions, when they will assign mystery credits? Well, I have done that like 7 times or more, and once it said "Mystery credits not awarded properly." WTF!??! It has never happened again since a week ago, but I wonder has anyone else had the mystery credits not awarded properly?

Also I don't know what to use these credits for. Maybe for a banner to direct people to your site? I'll have to create one though, so many I'll work on that this weekend, but I'd rather not bother :P

Yours Truly, rancette at 10:40 AM PST
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Thursday, 18 November 2004
Hat Show #2
For Hat Show #1, go to Mindsay

Red Hat, what do you feel like having for breakfast?

Red Hat, you have a mind of your own, don't you?

Red Hat, what are you doing hanging on the lamp?

Red Hat, what month is it?

Red Hat, what are you in the mood for tonight? Bonnie and Clyde or All About Eve?

Red Hat, what do you want for dessert?

Red Hat, it's time to go to sleep. I see you're all tucked in for bed.

Yours Truly, rancette at 7:10 PM PST
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New Charlie's Angels Home
UPDATE: The new Charlie's Angels site is HERE (Angel BGC, Lora, Shorty, Nissa and Agent Pepito H. Smith).

Yours Truly, rancette at 1:15 PM PST
Updated: Thursday, 18 November 2004 7:12 PM PST
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Monday, 15 November 2004
Free Cake For Everyone!!
Today is the 4 month anniversary of blogging in cyberspace! Yay. I'm so glad to have met a lot of my readers. There have been a lot of readers from the Netherlands lately, so welcome! And I hope you enjoy your time here. Also check out my Mindsay blog where I have more personal posts. This blog is more Rance-related.

Yours Truly, rancette at 3:57 PM PST
Updated: Sunday, 21 November 2004 7:19 AM PST
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Wednesday, 10 November 2004
Raspberry Beret -- The Kind that you Find in a really expensive Store
I have a new visitor from:

Provence-alpes-cote D'azur France

Hi! I have a question for you. I've always heard that French people don't wear berets like people think they do. Is this true? For all of you who haven't seen my hat that I talk about on my other blog, here's a pic:


I know it isn't exactly a beret, but the manufacturer actually calls it a beret

I'll post more pictures later this week when I get them uploaded. That pic is from the Agnes B website.

Yours Truly, rancette at 12:01 AM PST
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Tuesday, 9 November 2004
Hi Blog Explosion Traffic!
Hey all you people in BE land, I'm talking to you! I really like you or so I think.

However, I was kind of mad at the first person who rated my blog. They rated it a "4", so my blog was sitting on BE, with a 4 rating. And I thought, what the heck?

So I checked out the person who rated my site a 4. No wonder they had a problem with me. I had a problem with them! They had a movie review on their site, dissing Something's Gotta Give with Diane Keaton.

I knew then why they disliked me. We were two different people. I absolutely adored that movie! When I went to Paris, I passed by Plaza Athenee, the hotel where Jack Nicholson's character had stayed, just because it was in the movie. And I ate at Le Grand Colbert just because it had been Diane Keaton's character's favorite cafe in Paris. I mean that movie reached the depths of my soul. And this fellow blog explosions member dissed the heck out of it.

That being said, I checked my rating, and it's much higher now that a few nice people have rated it nice ratings. Including Surly, who left a nice message on my blog yesterday. I like Surly and I'm sure I'll like you too.

Now, I'm not begging for high ratings just for the sake of it. But as a rule, I don't tend to rate blogs unless I like them. Because #1, I might not know enough about the blog for me to give it a fair rating #2 they can see my name and track me down!! I'm just asking that I don't get "4" ratings. I find it hard to believe I suck that badly! If I do, sorry.

If you're from BE, don't be afraid to leave me a note. I won't bite. That is unless you don't like Something's Gotta Give. ;) just kidding. But hey, tell me about yourself or something. Favorite movie(s)?

Yours Truly, rancette at 12:01 AM PST
Updated: Monday, 8 November 2004 8:14 PM PST
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Monday, 8 November 2004
Trigger Week Part 2 I think
Birth with Nicole Kidman is a terrible film. I can handle the whole adult with a minor thing. If I couldn't, I wouldn't have seen it. But it is an awful film, even though it offers a fresh perspective. Fresh isn't enough to rise above slow and less-than-perfect acting.

Nic is wonderful, but I found myself wanting to slap Anne Heche on more than one occasion. Nic sighed one too many times in the film though, and it really got on my nerves.

The music is awful. It has this bass sound that keeps thumping. I wanted to strangle the composer! Then there were chimes that were out of place. The music went from happy-chimey to sparse-bassey. It didn't flow with the movie, and was a distraction. I would have preferred no music in the film at all.

I would have preferred that the director yelled at the actors a little more, asking them to pick up the pace. We don't need to see Nic's husband jogging for three minutes straight in the beginning of the movie...AND WITH NO OPENING CREDITS! Come on, a long, drawn-out opening sequence with no credits? And he's just jogging in the snow???

Forget that!

The week before, coincedentally, I had seen Get Out Your Handkerchiefs with Gerard Depardieu. He is open to his wife having extramarital affairs, but does not like the fact that she chose a 13 year old boy.

All Birth and Get Out Your Handkerchiefs have in common is an older woman having an affair with an underage boy. Get Out Your Handkerchiefs was half-way entertaining and had a good story and likeable characters. The boy in Birth was a good actor, but his character was unlikeable and even creepy.

There is also a book remarkably similar to the idea of Birth. It's called Walter's Purple Heart, written by Catherine Ryan Hyde (author of Pay it Forward). An older woman finds her husband reincarnated... I think the boy is not underage. He might still be in his teens though. The book was fascinating, captivating and had more substance than Birth. Birth could have been good like Get Out Your Handkerchiefs and Walter's Purple Heart, but it did not turn out that great. Without spoiling the ending, I'll only say it could have been better written.

I was going to send a message to the Blog Explosions visitors, but I will do that tomorrow. Stay tuned.

Yours Truly, rancette at 1:21 PM PST
Updated: Monday, 8 November 2004 1:39 PM PST
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Sunday, 7 November 2004
Rance is acting weird (like that is anything new!)
A post on Rance's site on a Saturday?! Second time in the history of the world! Well, RDD is in charge, so that may be the reason.

I can't believe I hadn't seen a preview for The Life Aquatic before Saturday. Nope. And what struck me is that Bill Murray is out to kill a whale for REVENGE like GUS OPENSHAW! What?!!?

We've already established that Rance could be Gus. He has the same feel with words like Rance does. The last time Gus wrote to me, I felt sure it was Rance talking to me.

Also, Rance could be... Bill Murray? Connected with The Life Aquatic in some way?

Maybe Gus was part of some test group that wanted to make sure the idea of killing a whale for revenge was cool. Granted, Bill Murray doesn't have one arm missing and his wife and child weren't eaten by the whale. But if Rance is Gus and Rance doesn't have one arm missing and an eaten wife and child... then it all makes sense!

Don't you see how beautifully Rance's story is unfolding? Sometimes I don't know what to think!

UPDATE (this was posted by Rance on his site, Rancetera:

I hadn't planned on it, but for some reason I'm now in the mood for beef. There's a Lowery's on LaCienega where they have basically two things on the menu: 1. Prime Rib 2. The Larger Portion of Prime Rib. It's hauled around the restaurant in a cart that's like a chrome Batmobile by two slicers the size of linemen. Oh wait, I just remembered, I'm a vegan.

Did anyone see Rance at Lowry's? I just saw this post Sunday morning, otherwise who knows if I would have tried to spot him Friday night. Hmm, who knows?

Yours Truly, rancette at 12:01 AM PST
Updated: Monday, 22 November 2004 3:07 PM PST
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Saturday, 6 November 2004
Rance & Rancette Go to Starbucks
Topic: Rance & Rancette
Note from Rancette: I'm kind of excited about RDD's new contest on Rance's site. I submitted an entry which didn't follow the rules though, so I'm working on another one. Also, it will be posted here after everything is announced, so it won't interfere with the contest.

In other news, sorry that I couldn't continue Trigger Week. Maybe I'll post later about movies that copy each other, but not this week.

Now, here is another edition of Rance & Rancette.

Phone conversation between Rance & Rancette:

I can't believe it's over.

You mean Pardon the Interruption?

Yeah. Hey, meet me in Starbucks in 20, okay?


You didn't say which location.

But you knew which one I was talking about.

Shouldn't you wear sunglasses when you go out in public? Won't somebody recognize you?

When you wear sunglasses, people are more prone to examine you.

I never thought of that.

I think you know why we're meeting.

Are you going to confess your undying love for me?

Sorry, I already did that. Last night on my date with Angelina Jolie.

Oh, come on, you're not really back together, are you?

What's it to you? I think it's sick that you have a crush on someone like me. I've had more flops than Ben Affleck, but I can't even seem to get any bad press.

Are you saying you're back with Angie for the publicity then?

Look, I didn't come here to discuss my personal life.

Rancette sighs.

So what do you want then?

Look, they know I've done a bit of writing before. And I've been hired to write Pardon the Interruption the movie.


Only thing is, I just don't have it in me. Are you jealous that they chose me and not you?

No, of course not. I'm just glad I was a part of it in some minute way.

Well, how about ghostwriting? I'll pay you seventy-five percent of what they're giving me. My name goes on the script. It would be good experience for you.

Well, I think it would hurt to see you get all the credit for something I've done, Billy Bob. But it's a deal.

Angelina Jolie pulls up in a red mini-convertible.

I thought you were in Sudan!

I thought you wanted to get back together! I caught you red-handed with some chick who...

Angie, calm down. She's just helping me write some script.

What script?

Pardon the Interruption!


I can't take this anymore!!

Neither can I! I'm taking Maddox back to Cambodia with me and you will never see the child I'm pregnant with.

Billy Bob, I just had a revelation! Angelina would be perfect as Anna.

Honey, do you want to be in the movie? It's about a girl who discovers secrets from her long-lost past. Rancette here is writing the script.

Angelina Jolie signs on to play the role of Anna, instead of being in Tomb Raider 3. Pardon the Interruption is a such a big hit that Billy Bob & Angie's marriage stays intact for the time being. A&BB call the baby Anna Montoya Thornton.

Yours Truly, rancette at 5:27 AM PST
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Wednesday, 3 November 2004
The Fun in Movies
I think I had a revelation. Well, I already knew this, to a certain degree.

I like to know what is going to happen in movies beforehand. Today I think I figured out why.

I used to think that it was because I was a writer and I liked watching as the story unfolded, seeing how the writer maneuvered certain plot tricks. Well, that is true to a certain degree.

Lots of people like to re-watch movies over and over, falling in love with them over and over. To me, this isn't so. I try to watch as many different movies as possible, so I'll be familiar with as much as I can. This doesn't leave a whole lot of time to re-watch movies over and over. Even the ones I want to see again.

I have a huge, long list of movies I want to see again. But they will just have to wait. I like Woody Allen. I have made it a priority to see Annie Hall once every five years. I have a year and a half to go before I see it again.

Ok, the point. I discovered maybe another reason or maybe THE reason I like knowing the plot beforehand. And I think this ties in with my post earlier today. Hollywood plots are old and tired anyway.

I like to what is going to happen, so I know what to expect. Then if the movie does something unexpected (and is still relatively good), I'll like the movie even more.

But THE reason is because I see movies because of the actor. Yes, there are certain movies I'll see for the writer or director. I like Charlie Kaufman and the aforementioned Woody Allen. And I like Wes Anderson. BUT--I am an actor junkie. If there is an actor I like, I will track down all the other movies of theirs and watch them, even if they aren't that good. But an amazing actor can take a flat, unexciting script and make it vivacious and moving.

Watching a Gerard Depardieu movie made me realize that today. I read the back of the movie cover, kind of laughed because the plot was so ridiculous. Then as the lousy story moved forward, I laughed again as I realized how predictable it was and not at all original. However, the way Gerard was talking to this chick, it was outstanding. It was absolutely enjoyable watching them interact.

So I've realized that I don't really care about the movies for the sake of the plot, but for the execution of the script. I was also watching a lesser known Al Pacino movie today. The script was ok (would have been unbearable with the wrong actor), but Al made the movie delightful.

This realization was scary. Because I'm a screenwriter. And who the heck cares about your script if the actors screw it all up and make you look lousy. Well, that is a fear I have.

I guess you have to write the best you can and hopefully the right actors will be attracted to your project.

Anyway, I titled this entry "The Fun in Movies". The fun isn't seeing how the movie unfolds lots of times. But it's in seeing the actors work their magic.

That being said, I could care less about Kirsten and Tobey, so fortunately the writers for Spiderman were good. But I'd say 85-90% of all the movies I see are based on if the actors are good and not the writer, director, or storyline. And I'm surprised that I only fully realized this today.

Yours Truly, rancette at 10:52 AM PST
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I got an idea for a series of posts from the movie The Conversation directed by Francis Ford Coppola. It won Best Picture, so a lot of people have seen it.

For the next week, I will post about movies that have ripped off other movies. Maybe it wasn't intentional. Maybe it was subconscious. Maybe it was. Maybe seeing a movie only triggered an idea and they only partially ripped a movie off.

So as I was watching The Conversation and there is this scene where Gene Hackman is in his hotel and blood comes out of the toilet. A whole lot of blood from the victim(s) that were murdered. And I immediately thought of Dirty Pretty Things, where a heart of a murdered person was found when they unclogged the toilet. Toilet. Blood/heart. Hotel. I was thinking that maybe whoever wrote Dirty Pretty Things had seen The Conversation.

Also, finding the anonymous donor that you're not supposed to know about is a theme too often found in movies and is not at all that interesting.

  • Return to Me
  • 21 Grams

    With the case of Return to Me this movie also rips off a lot of other movies. And a lot of other movies since then have ripped off a lot of similar themes. It's been awhile since I've seen Random Hearts. But basically in this movie, Harrison Ford's wife and Kristin Scott Thomas' husband had an affair and they think that they need to have an affair too. So he tracks KST down so they can have this affair. The first half hour is gripping and leads someone to think that this is going to be a great thriller. However, it gets pretty unoriginal and lame real quick. That is one of the biggest disappointments of all movies.

    I'll look at a few other movies this week. Some that are just cheap imitations of others. Since the movie industry has been around over 100 years (not as long as me), a lot of the movies I have seen during my lifetime are rip-offs unbeknownst to me.

    I like watching old movies, though. Sometimes when I see older movies, like The Conversation it is amazing to see its influence over other films. I saw The Good, the Bad, and The Ugly pretty recently and it was amazing to see its influence on how few westerns I had seen. If you can call Shanghai Noon a western (there was a pretty interesting bathtub scene in both).

    Anyway, during the next week, comments are more than welcome. Maybe my scope is limited and you may see something that I may not. I am using this week to point out how much Hollywood uses the same ideas. OVER AND OVER. Whether they mean to or not.

    Yours Truly, rancette at 7:48 AM PST
  • Tuesday, 2 November 2004
    Vote / Links
    Notes from Rancette on this beautiful Tues. morning:

    1. VOTE!

    2. Quentin Tarantino is back! Three posts in October :o big surprise!

    3. Colonel Mustard is gone for now. I am going to remove the link. Not to alarm anyone. I plan to put it right back up when he returns. I loved his site and it is too bad he is gone right now.

    Now I am going to get some breakfast, and then I'm going to vote!

    Yours Truly, rancette at 8:20 AM PST
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