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Agent Rancette
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Sunday, 17 October 2004
Live Like You Were Dying - WHAT A LOAD OF CROCK!
Back around January, before I knew any of you sweet people, I thought I was going to die. Something was wrong with me and I visited a doctor and of course there was that waiting period between not knowing and getting results. And doctors referring me to other doctors, while I'm thinking, hey the sooner this is taken care of the less likely I'll die.

As it turns out, it was nothing. But those two weeks, I seriously thought that I could die and began making plans of what I wanted to accomplish, before I died.

It was a list a lot like Sara Polley made in My Life Without Me. I saw that movie several months later in which a young woman finds out she's going to die of cancer.

I am not a hypocondriac or paranoid about dying. Since it turned out to be nothing, I've had no close to death experiences. But I'll tell you one thing. I made a list of things to do before I died and I did them.

The whole "live like you were dying" concept was awesome at first. Because you never know when you're going to go, so why postpone things...and then they may never happen.

But on the other hand, what now? I was reading KJ's site and she was saying something similar. Now, that I've done all that I wanted to do, what now? Where's the satisfaction? I liked my old dreams. What, now I have to have new dreams? What, should my old dreams be my new dreams over and over again? Reliving the same old thing for the rest of my life?

In Man on the Moon, which is a movie I really liked, by the way, Andy Kaufman, played by Jim Carrey finds out he is going to die. And his attitude is to spread positivity, so people will remember him in a good light.

When I thought I could die, I felt intense bitterness and anger. I thought of everything bad anyone had ever done to me. And I thought that if I didn't have some kind of moral obligation to society, that there'd be some people I'd like to take out if I really was going to die.

And I wondered, why all this bitterness? Why anger? Why wonder has my life been such a waste? Why not savor the remaining moments and spread goodness, joy, and positivity like Andy Kaufman did in Man on the Moon?

Well, I don't know. I'm still trying to figure that one out. Maybe since it wasn't my time to go after all. Maybe I have a lot of things to sort out.

But my point is, living like you were dying is no way to live. Once I had accomplished certain goals, I wondered what I had to look forward to now. And at this point of my life I had outgrown certain dreams that I had since I was about 14 years old. So it left me thinking, "what do I have left to look forward to?"

On one hand, I know the "live like you were dying concept" means take time to let others know you love them and everything. That's all good and well. But if you live like you were dying, there's also more limited consequences. You might live a little too recklessly.

I was reading that John Cusack flew into the eye of a storm to do research on a movie about storm-chasers. While it was exciting for him, how stupid was that? While John Cusack isn't my favorite actor, isn't that kind of thrill-seeking a little dangerous?

Anyway, I'm at the now-what phase. What is life cracked up to be? Yeah, I want a lot out of it. I don't want to be the person who just sits there and lets life pass them by, but I don't want to be the John Cusack storm-chaser either. Isn't there a balance? What do I have to look forward to next???

Yours Truly, rancette at 12:01 AM PDT
Updated: Thursday, 14 October 2004 10:40 PM PDT
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Saturday, 16 October 2004
Saddest parts in movies (SPOILERS AHEAD)
I hate to ruin any movies for you, but I thought of posting what moved me in the following movies:

I HEART HUCKABEE'S - Jason Schwartzman's character has a mysterious cat story throughout the beginning of the movie. It seems like it may be a cheesy story.

But as it turns out, his cat died when he was nine years old. His mother didn't deal with him well when it happened and made him ashamed for getting upset over his cat. This really made me sad, because his mother wasn't there for him when he needed her most. One interesting thing about the casting is that the woman who plays his mother is actually his mother in real life.

12 ANGRY MEN - At the end of the movie, Lee J. Cobb, the hardened juror is the final one who's holding out. He wants to convict. I think Henry Fonda asks him to think of the person on trial as his son and if he'd convict him. Lee J. Cobb gets mad and rips out a picture of his son from his wallet and tears in to shreds, saying he doesn't care about his son. But he starts crying, because obviously, he does care. And he's so hardened, but he's estranged from his son and what Henry Fonda said struck a chord. And he is not going to convict the person on trial now.

REBEL WITH A CAUSE - I was pretty close to my dad. But Natalie Wood apparently crosses the line when she hugs her Dad. All she wants is some normal affection. And the Dad slaps her across the room.

Even though I loved my Dad and I'm sure he loved me, this scene in the movie really upset me. I remember one time I was about fourteen and I was just holding on to his arm. And he said it was too hot outside and I should just let go. But I held on anyway. And then he yelled at me again and said, "I said it was hot outside, let go!"

ONE TRUE THING - This is one of the few movies where I've cried throughout the whole thing. The movie is kind of depressing. Girl finally gets a great job and then discovers her mom is dying of cancer. Dad, William Hurt, tells her to come home and take care of the mother she was never close to. So she leaves her job, her boyfriend, and takes care of the mother that she can't stand out of guilt.

On top of that, she is questioned for murdering her, once her mother is found dead because of an overdose of her medication. Of course the daughter, played by Renee Zellweger, has thought of killing her mother, because she resents her so much. But of course, she would never ever do a thing like that.

The father says to her face, "I can't believe you had the guts to kill her." I didn't read the book, so I'm not sure who actually killed her. But I got the feeling it was the father. And here he is, accusing his daughter of killing her. When she is the one who took care of her, because he made her feel guilty enough.

Yours Truly, rancette at 12:01 AM PDT
Updated: Thursday, 14 October 2004 10:36 PM PDT
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Wednesday, 13 October 2004
Meet my cousin, Rancetera. No, not really. Rance is going through a mid-life crisis and is calling himself "Rancetera" now. Don't believe me? Go to his blog. I got the head's up from waxwing.

Sorry I haven't been posting here that much. I love the community over at Mindsay. However, I am going out of town this weekend. So I am writing posts in advance, because you can stage them to appear at a later date. So Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, I am going to schedule posts to appear here while I'm out of town. I hope this works. Mindsay is great and all, but I don't know that I'm going to have Internet access out of town. So I'll write my posts in advance just in case.

The rest of this week, I'll probably be at Mindsay. This weekend though, my posts will be here @ Tripod. So drop in and say hi.

Yours Truly, rancette at 12:03 PM PDT
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Tuesday, 5 October 2004
Rance and Rancette go to a Funeral
Topic: Rance & Rancette
RANCE: Hey, Rancette. I'm going to a funeral.

RANCETTE: Oh, I'm sorry. Who died? Anyone close to you?

RANCE: Yeah, family.

RANCETTE: I'm sorry.

RANCE: It's ok. She was older. We knew she was going to pass away soon.

RANCETTE: Still it hurts.

RANCE: Listen, would you like to go to the reception?

RANCETTE: But, I mean, this is a personal affair.

RANCE: Well, the funeral reception's for Janet Leigh.

RANCETTE: WHAT!? You're related to Janet Leigh!?



RANCE: Well, why don't you come and find out?

* * *

Setting: funeral reception.

Everyone is dressed in black, from head to toe. Rancette sees Jamie Lee Curtis from a distance. She also sees several people that she does not recognize. She wanders to the food table and picks out fruit and some little sandwiches.

Jamie Lee Curtis walks up to a podium.

JAMIE: Everybody. I would like to say a few words. She was the greatest mom. (starts crying) I can't go on!

KELLY: As Janet's other daughter, I would like to take over for Jamie. I want this to be a very special day and for everyone to think of their best memory of our mom.

Kelly and Jamie hug. Everyone applauds.

OLD AUNT (to Rancette): I don't recognize you! Are you one of those crazy fanatics Janet had? HELP! HELP!

Christopher Guest runs up, trying to hold the Old Aunt back from striking Rancette.

CHRISTOPHER GUEST: Now Aunt Lulu, this is Rancette. She's a close friend to Jamie and me.

OLD AUNT: Well, if you say so. See you later, Chrissy-boy.

RANCETTE: Wow, thank you for saving me like that. Did Rance tell you I was coming?


RANCETTE: No way! I would have never guessed. I thought you were much older.

CHRISTOPHER GUEST: Well, I'm no spring-chicken.

RANCETTE: You did say Janet was "family". You should have specified that she was your mother-in-law.

CHRISTOPHER GUEST: Well, I didn't want to give it away. Weren't you surprised? Wasn't this what you were least expecting?

RANCETTE: Are there any other stars here?

CHRISTOPHER GUEST: What!? You're not satisfied? You want to see other stars? Get out of here you ungrateful fool! Security!

Security throws Rancette outside the gates.


Yours Truly, rancette at 7:29 AM PDT
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Monday, 4 October 2004
Rance and Naomi's Honeymoon
Now Playing: Harold and Maude, the inspiration for this story
On the plane ride home, from London to Washington, D.C.

RANCE: I so sick of London. I'll be so glad to get back to the States. Home, sweet, home.

NAOMI: I know. I spent my first fourteen years in England. It'll be so great to go somewhere new, like Washington, D.C. I never spent enough time there.

RANCE: Are you scared about possible terrorist threats?

NAOMI: No, aren't you?

RANCE: You know me. I'm not scare of anything. Much less terrorists.

NAOMI: This is going to be the most romantic honeymoon ever.

RANCE: It's not like you've been married before.

NAOMI: But you have!

RANCE: Yes, and I agree. There is no place like Washington, D.C. So romantic.

NAOMI: Oh my gosh!

RANCE: What, Naomi?

NAOMI: Is that Cat Stevens?


NAOMI: You know that singer? He has a school in London.

RANCE: I didn't know that. Wasn't he the one who sang (singing) "It's another Saturday night and I ain't got nobody"?

NAOMI: Yeah.

RANCE: What a loser.

NAOMI: He changed his name to Yusef Islam.

RANCE: Youseff Islam!?! Holy cow! He's on our nation's most wanted terrorism list, Naomi. You alert the captain, while I take Youseff captive.


Rance sneaks behind Cat Stevens. He sticks his plastic fork to the back of his head.

RANCE: Hold it right there or I'll blow your head off, you no-good, terrorizing, piece of...

CAT: I only want peace. I have money. I will donate it to your favorite cause. Only please do not harm anyone on this flight, including me. If you believe in peace, Allah will forgive all your sins.

RANCE: I know you. You're the one who gives Osama all his ideas. How did you get past security?

CAT: I wrote "Peace Train". All I want is "peace".

RANCE: And will you attain peace once you take over this flight? By blowing up the USA? I don't think so Cat.

Rance punches Cat in the nose. Blood squirts all over. Rance twists Cat's hand until he begs for mercy.

RANCE: Alright, Youseff, we have you covered.

CAPTAIN (V.O.): Ladies and gentleman, stay in your seats while we apprehend Youseff Islam, aka Cat Stevens. Your cooperation is needed or this could be the new 9/11. Please keep calm.

Rance is kicking him on the floor now. An airline stewardess hands Rance handcuffs. Rance pulls Cat's hands behind his back and places the cuffs on him.

CAT: You'll be sorry. I'm innocent.

CAPTAIN (V.O.): We will shortly be landing in Bangor, Maine. There we shall deport Youseff Islam, AKA Cat Stevens. Don't worry, however. This delay will only be slight. We hope you are enjoying the flight today.

CAT: I am YU-sef Islam, not Youseff! You have the wrong man! I am for peace!

Rance kicks Cat in the head.

RANCE: Enough already. We know you're terrorist scum.

A little boy walks up to Rance.

BOY: May I have your auto-gwaff?

RANCE: Of course.

NAOMI: Aw, how sweet Bruce. This makes me want to have children of our own.

The lady across the aisle screams.

LADY: AHHH! AHHH! Are you really Bruce Willis? Are you really Naomi Watts? Is that really Cat Stevens? AHHH!! I've never met a celebrity in my life and now I've met three. Bruce, may I kick Cat in the head too?

RANCE/BRUCE: I think he's already unconscious, but sure you can kick him.


Yours Truly, rancette at 8:36 PM PDT
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Ok, I still haven't recovered from the praise
Ok, so they give me what I want. I got to post on Rance's blog. And now what? Now what?

Well, some extra comments were added today. Very helpful! I wasn't paying attention and misspelled "Michel" Gondry's name. It's Michel, not Michael!! I misread it like a million times then. Thank you so much to rocker for pointing this out to me. I hadn't had the privelege of running into rocker before. Just heard about him. So it's great that we know of each other's separate existences now.

Also, livijane said she'd kick my *** if I stopped writing, so whoa that got my brain into gear. I am working on something now. Rance and Rancette go to the Movies. Not sure how that is going to work out, cause I haven't started on it quite yet.

And finally, a shout out to chicken little. It seemed he didn't like my pardon the interruption bit at all! Total dislike was easier to take then I thought. Besides, there were several nice comments after chick's to make me feel better if I was upset, which I wasn't. To each his own. Yeah, it was cheap writing myself into the script. Sorry.

Oh yeah, I have to rewrite it so that Ms Lauren and Jason Statham go for a romp in the hay. And El wants me to have Rose pick out the eye of her husband. Ok.

ROSE: Sweetie, come here.

Husband approaches Rose. Rose grabs her husband's eye out of the socket and looks at it as if it were good enough to eat. Then she squishes it between her toes.

There you go! Ok, enough of that. Now I'm going to do some serious writing.

Yours Truly, rancette at 6:35 PM PDT
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Blog Hog
This past week I was a blog hog. Well, I have lots of stuff to catch up on, so I probably won't post at length this week. To tell the truth I was getting so geared up for "Pardon the Interruption", all my energy was in it and visiting Mindsay blogs. Oh, and let's not forget, my new favorite site.

Well, I have nothing more to say for right now. I'm here and I might be checking blogs. I'll post if I have something to say. But this week might be quieter than usual. Don't be alarmed! I'll be back.

Yours Truly, rancette at 3:34 PM PDT
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Friday, 1 October 2004
Apply to be Rancette's Administrative Staff
This is fake, just like Rance's call for the "new" Rance was. But if I like your entry, your fabulous post will be posted, having you be the guest-bloggist of the day.

The only reason this stands out is because I've never had a guest-bloggist, so you will be the very first one.

I got the idea for this, when I went to write my "Notes from Rancette" section. Usually I say "I don't have an administrative staff like Rance". I was thinking of being smart earlier and saying "Sorry, no administrative staff. All applicants have been rejected".

But then I caught myself in a lie. No one had applied to be my Administrative Staff.


Submit in 350 words or less why you want to be a part of my Administrative Staff.


I will leave the contest open for one week or until 3 people submit their entries. Which ever comes last.

Yours Truly, rancette at 8:53 AM PDT
Pardon the Interruption Part 11
Topic: Posts on Rance's Blog
DEDICATED TO ANNIE, thank you so much


Thank you to those two who had the hardest time waiting, but were so patient anyway:
Ms Lauren

The brunette casting director, early 30s, in a Christian Dior suit, handed the producer a list.

ANNA MONTOYA ... Anna Paquin
SAM ... Matthew Settle
STAN ... Marton Csokas
ROSE HAYGOOD ... Connie Nielsen
CLYDE CANTER ... Paul Bettany
MR. BUD ... John C. Reilly
LILY ... Perla Haney-Jardine
SARA ...Drew Barrymore
JOGGER ... Kevin Spacey
BILL ... David Carradine

CASTING DIRECTOR: This is what I'm thinking.

PRODUCER (ticked off): First of all, I don't want Kato Kaelin playing himself. Get someone who isn't tacky. What about Brad Pitt? Brad's scruffy like Kato, but he's a star. And his agent emailed me saying that he has intense interest in the role.

CASTING DIRECTOR: If I may say so, Brad Pitt is one of the tackiest actors out there.

PRODUCER: I know, but Rance mentioned him once.

CASTING DIRECTOR: Rance mentioned Cary Grant once. Should Cary play Stan?

PRODUCER: You're fired. Insolence! Get outta my office!!

CASTING DIRECTOR: Wait, a brilliant idea just came to me! Chris Cooper as Stan! He has a Bob Ewell face!

PRODUCER: Move it now. I'll make sure you never work in this town again. Exit the building! SECURITY!!!!!

Two buff security guards take the casting director away.

CASTING DIRECTOR ... Maggie Gyllenhaal
PRODUCER ... Harvey Weinstein
SECURITY GUARD #1 ... Vin Diesel
SECURITY GUARD #2 ... Jason Statham

Meanwhile back at Rancette's ranch, Rancette is speaking to her agent...

AGENT: I hate to break it to you. They don't like the changes you've made to "Pardon the Interruption".

RANCETTE: Well, when you have 30 different writers give or take... The writers are still getting their dough, even though I changed most of their details. It was for clarity's sake. I mean Kenmore refrigerators dropping from the sky? That's cool. But our director is not Ridley Scott, *Michel Gondry, or even Robert Altman. They would be the only ones who could pull off something like that. Our director would screw things up. You know him.

AGENT: I know this was a hard task, but you're in a tough line of work. You aren't pulling this together like they thought you could, Rancette. You've been fired.

RANCETTE: Fired?! Well, it's not my fault if the original writers are whining to the producer about how they're not going to hand over the rights to their side of the story unless everything is kept the same. I had to change stuff around. Especially since two writers didn't agree to have their part brought to the screen. That's why I had to change everything. Now, everyone who agreed to the terms... wow, they are going to receive one big, fat check. I kept all of the characters, even if I changed who they were a little bit. I thought I had total creative control. They can't fire me. Can't I do a re-write? I mean I was the writer of the screenplay.

AGENT: Yes, the keyword is "was". Plus, there's the issue of Rance wanting to star in the film. The script first appeared on his blog, so he had his rights. He's going to play Kato.

RANCETTE: Wow. First Kato Kaelin was cut out of his first role in years. Now Brad Pitt is cut out of the role, because of Rance!

AGENT: Brad Pitt IS Rance.

RANCETTE: What!?!? What a stunning revelation! What about his Naomi Watts fascination?

AGENT: He couldn't very well say "Jennifer Aniston is hot" on his blog. That would have given it away. That's why he sneakily remarked he liked Naomi Watts, lying through his teeth.

RANCETTE: They should get Naomi to play Anna!

AGENT: No, Brad refuses to work with her. Anyway, there's no point in discussing this. You have been fired without any pay. There's no way you could re-write everything without starting from scratch. You changed everything. They don't like the fact that Rose's husband isn't Clyde. That he's her lover and that other guy is her husband. In the original story, Rose and Clyde died. That is the foundation of our story, here.

RANCETTE: Her husband's name is Bill. If you even read the script, you might have been able to stand up for my creative decisions a little better.

AGENT: They don't like the fact that Bill killed Anna. And then killed himself. That wasn't the murder/suicide they had in mind. And Clyde is Lily's great-great grandfather, not her grandfather.

RANCETTE: Well, it was necessary, because I wanted Clyde to meet Lily. But he had to kidnap her.
AGENT: There are other things. Sara was a baby in your script. In the original "Pardon the Interruption" she was grown up. Could Rose have even had a baby at her age? Like I said, they don't like the changes. Too bad.

RANCETTE: But Bill discovers Sara is not really his baby. It's Clyde's baby, but Bill doesn't know that. He becomes *so angry with Anna for cheating on him that he shoots her, then himself. Crime of passion.

AGENT: So why did Clyde kidnapped Lily if he was her grandfather?

RANCETTE: He was estranged from his daughter, so he never had seen Lily. Once Sara, the secret love child, discovers the truth about her mother, she wants nothing to do with Clyde. She blames her father for her mother Rose's death. Clyde, who is now so old that he's ready to die any second, wanted to meet Lily; it was his dying wish.

AGENT: That is just the lamest thing I've ever heard. How would a dying man be able to kidnap a kid? Especially a mischievous one like Lily. Why would any one shell out money to see your film?

RANCETTE: Well, why don't you write the script?

AGENT: Because they've already replaced you with Ken!


*I didn't proofread as well as I should have and there are typos. I colored the typos red so you could see how it differed from the original post.

Yours Truly, rancette at 8:40 AM PDT
Updated: Saturday, 25 February 2006 12:49 PM PST
I'm dying to know...
... what you all think of my segment of "Pardon the Interruption". Unfortunately, it is not on Rance's site yet. I haven't heard of any further delays. Or that my post was rejected.

Just rest assured that it will be here soon. It's hurting me as much as it's hurting you. Who cares if I know what happened, if no one else knows? I want to know what people think. I hope the build-up isn't like the Jen and Ben fiasco, where you're waiting for the wedding, waiting for the wedding, and finally get tired of waiting for the wedding.

I'm not going to blame anyone. It is certainly not Rubber Duckie's fault. She is the mediator between the writers and Rance/Captain Hoof and is doing a great job. The top of the administration, be it Rance or Captain Hoof makes all the decisions of what goes up when. So please be patient. I hope you don't give up hope yet. Please don't!

Yours Truly, rancette at 8:39 AM PDT
Thursday, 30 September 2004
Notes from Rancette
What I'm afraid of

Well, I know I don't respond to every single comment. I am afraid it is going to come back to haunt me. Because I gave Gus Openshaw a hard time about it on my Mindsay blog.

Actually, if you mention Gus on your site on Mindsay, you usually get listed in the top blogs for that day. So I created an all about Gus post.

I don't want Gus to feel bad, I just wanted to get the message out to him. I didn't create the post just for the heck of it or simply because I might be a top blog on Mindsay.

I had something to say. And what I said was true. ATTN GUS: If you have followers and you don't talk to them, they're going to leave!

That being said, I'd like to thank the following people in alphabetical order:

Col Mustard
Ms Lauren
Ranceline aka crouchingtiger16
Tad Bitter
Vanessa Lea Nownes
[your name here] <--- if I didn't mention you and you are reading this, please tell me I forgot you. If you are new, introduce yourself. You don't have to say much if you don't want to. Just say hi!

I really want you to feel special, because I would have stopped blogging if not for you!! Well, I don't know, but I definitely wouldn't have posted as much if no one had been reading. And I probably would've asked myself, what's the point anyway?

So thank you for making me feel great about blogging!!


I've given up the idea that Rance would ever contact me. It just isn't going to happen. So why hope? But I still love his blog, especially since other people have been posting instead of him! (Would I have said that a month ago? :o No way!!!!)

But if you're not Rance, don't be like Gus and piss off your readers. Of course, Gus is Rance. That is very clear. Neither of them are "confirm"-ing or "deny"-ing anything.

Cat Stevens

I discovered a great site today, but my creating a link option isn't working today, so try cut & paste: (scroll down a little bit)

If you haven't read the news lately, Cat Stevens was not allowed to enter this country. He was headed for Washington, D.C. And when they saw his name on the list and then compared it to the list of most wanted terrorists, they thought his name was on there.

Cat Stevens changed his name to Yusef Islam. And the person they were actually looking for had been "Youseff" Islam. Cat had actually been in New York this past May. So it was a mistake. But the "throw cat stevens in jail" link is funny, nonetheless.

Besides, what was Cat, a Muslim, wanting to do in hot terrorist targets like New York City and Washington, D.C.? He should steer clear of those cities if he wants to keep out of trouble. Yeah, this is a free country. But he relocated to England and started a school of his own there, so don't come back and scare us to death!

Oh yeah

I meant to answer Ranceline's question about how I've posted 10X on Rance's site (well, really 11X. I posted it today. I'm not going to reprint it here, because frankly, it was getting annoying reprinting my rance posts here.). So she wondered if they are going to put a link up to my site now, since the rule is you have to post to Rance's site before being considered for a link. Now what's the other criteria? I have no clue. I probably won't get a link. But it's worth it to ask. I asked Rubber Dee Duckie, AR, to put the world in for me. She obliged, saying she'd direct my request to the right person (Captain Hoof? I dunno).

So of course, you'll hear it first from me if my link makes it to Rance's site! Unless that is you were on Rance's site and found it out there first.

Yours Truly, rancette at 5:46 PM PDT
Updated: Thursday, 30 September 2004 5:52 PM PDT
Wednesday, 29 September 2004
I've been sick since Friday (for more info go to rancette @ Mindsay --->).

My diet and sleeping patterns are usually pretty normal. I'm a morning person. But since I've gotten sick, I have been thrown off balance. I have maybe gotten 4 hours of sleep per night, as opposed to the regular 8. And maybe I'll rest during the day and take naps, but being so stationery, I feel so bad, cause usually I am always on the go, doing something, being productive, focusing on my ambitions.

Since I've been sick, I've gotten a lot of insight into life. Maybe it's because I've resorted to spending my days and sleepless nights reading Mindsay blogs. Well, usually I only go on Mindsay for a little bit. But yesterday, I was on all day and night. I was composing post after post. I still have most posts.

It's amazing. Ever since I've gotten sick, I've been writing some much deeper stuff (not including my Agent Rancette post earlier today!). I mean I have posts lined up for the next 2 weeks on what I could talk about now. I usually try to keep my posting to once or twice a day. But I'm sick. And all I'm doing is thinking and writing and lying in my bed. Sitting on my chair, typing into my computer.

So I was reading this one blog. I thought I kept the link, but I can't find it now. Anyway, they asked the ultimate question:

Why do people blog?

And you know, I started out blogging, so I could write about Rance and so maybe I could even impress Rance. But maybe my reasons for starting out blogging are different than the reasons I continue to blog.

I continue to blog, because yes it is a way to organize my thoughts. I write stuff here I never would never have thought of writing, if it weren't for other blogs. Like Rance & Rancette? I would have never thought of that, if I were just being a serious writer and trying to stick to my normal way of writing. Sometimes I'll write lyrics, sometimes I'll work on writing my scripts, sometimes I'll even post in essay-style.

But blogging has caused me to be able to simply write out my thoughts without wondering if I'm going anywhere, and then I end up maybe going somewhere I wouldn't have otherwise, if I simply stuck to structured writing.

Back to:

Why do we blog?

People blog for different reasons. All blogs are different. Blogging makes it easy to expose the real you. Because usually, for me, I try to hold in what I'm saying or thinking to other people, because I don't want to come off the wrong way. Or maybe someone will feel I'm too judgmental.

So when I first started blogging, I blogged to please Rance. Then I realized, who cares what Rance or anyone else thinks? Now, I post what I want.

And it is great that along the way, I have had readers being very supportive. And it might be easy to crawl back in that shell and say, "Well, I don't want to expose anymore of myself, because they might not like me anymore." But the people here are so accepting. And I don't mind difference of opinions once in awhile.

Maybe I have not been as bold as I think I have been. Sometimes, I do hold back, like in the issue of politics. But I kind of stuck my feelers out yesterday and tested the political waters. No one was mean about my conservative post. It was supposed to be funny. And I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

So anyhow, in conclusion, it feels great to blog. For me, it has become a way of connecting. I had no idea that I would get wrapped into this community, like I did. But it is wonderful.

Yours Truly, rancette at 1:19 PM PDT
Agent Rancette finds Naomi Watts' Secret diary...
Now Playing: cue scary music
Topic: Agent Rancette
...revealing her Birthday details + tapes of her phone being tapped.

AGENT RANCETTE: Judge, I'd like to submit this as evidence.

The judge opens the diary.

September 28, 2004

Dear Diary,

Today was my birthday. I got together with Nic and the security guards threw out Heath when he tried to show up. But it still wasn't the same. I got a beautiful emerald necklace from [deleted]. I know he's interested in me, but I'm not really interested in him. I hate to break his heart. But mine is breaking right now. Because "the only one I've ever loved has gone away". I can't stop crying. See my tears on the page.

Yours so truly,

JUDGE: Hmm, interesting. I've always been a fan of Naomi myself. I never dreamed that I'd be reading her diary one day. This is so cool.

Agent Rancette shows the judge tapes.

AGENT RANCETTE: And these are the tapes of the phone call, placed right after she penned the diary entry.

Rancette hits the play button.

NAOMI: Hello?

RANCE: Hello, sweetie!

NAOMI: Rance! You called! You remembered!

RANCE: Of course, sweetie. Happy Birthday! I've been thinking about you all day.

NAOMI: You have?

RANCE: Of course, I even thought of what to name our baby.

NAOMI: But I'm not pregnant!

RANCE: I know, but I've still thought of a name for our child.

NAOMI: That is so sweet.

RANCE: You'll love it.

NAOMI: Tell me.

RANCE: Romice.

NAOMI: Oh, I love it. How did you find that name?

RANCE: Well, my love, both of our names have 5 letters in it.


RANCE: We both have an "A" and an "N" in our names.


RANCE: Take those letters away, and the ones remaining are R-O-M-I-C-E.

NAOMI: Romice! That is so perfect. I want to marry you right now.

RANCE: Wait Naomi...

NAOMI: Oh, I love the way you say my name.

RANCE: Naomi, I have to conquer the world first.

NAOMI: But Rance, honey, you couldn't exactly conquer the whole world! I'm afraid you'll never marry me if you're waiting for something that may never happen.

RANCE: Are you questioning me?


RANCE: You totally killed the mood. I don't know if I like you anymore.

NAOMI: But Rance! It's my BIRTHDAY. You can't break up with me on my BIRTHDAY! I had a terrible time all day. Everyone remembered, but I felt so crummy until I received your call. Don't tell me you're breaking up with me. I couldn't handle it.

[Rance's line goes dead. Naomi sobs into her end of the receiver.]

JUDGE: So what exactly are we investigating here?

AGENT RANCETTE: I was hired to find out about the strange disappearance of Naomi Watts.

JUDGE: Well, she "disappeared" because Rance had no interest in her anymore. So people stopped caring about her.

AGENT RANCETTE: No she DISAPPEARED. She's missing! Take this seriously, Judge. I want the diary entry and the tapes filed as evidence. I want you to issue a search warrant for Rance's place. You need to do this. Before it's too late. Naomi may be in danger!


(Actually, I'm not going to continue this. I want this left up to your imagination.)

Yours Truly, rancette at 10:59 AM PDT
Updated: Wednesday, 29 September 2004 11:10 AM PDT
Tuesday, 28 September 2004
10th post on Rance's site
Topic: Posts on Rance's Blog
Well, I was a little mixed up. My "Pardon the Interruption" segment will be here Wednesday instead of today, because I thought Snubby would post on Tuesday. So I don't want to jump the gun. As soon as Snubby has their say, I will totally post it once I've made any necessary changes.

Now, I don't know Snubby. I wish I did so they could give me the heads up of what they are planning to do. But I trust I can deal with it. If I have to completely change everything, I might post the original "pardon the Interruption" segment on this site in addition to any re-write I may have to create on Wednesday. But rest assured, it is turning out well.

Snubby, if you're out there, please shout out to me!! (Within the next 24-48 hours)

That being said, I commented today on Rance's blog. Rance is calling himself Captain Hoof now. I don't know if that's an alter ego or what. But princessr9 said that she'd like to run over the "masternaders" with her SUV, but wasn't going to, because she couldn't vote from prison. I said,

You could always run them over after the election.

You know, give them a fair warning. If they vote for Nader, then run them over. After you've safely voted. Just a suggestion. I was kind of ticked that Rance used his blog as a "platform". It was very Ben Affleck of him and I'm not sure I was very pleased. But hey, it's his blog. And Thursday, I will have my say. And hopefully, Rance won't be too ticked off (he might not even notice me).

And we all know that I'd love to be noticed by Rance! Wooo, I feel another Rance & Rancette story coming on within the next week or two.

Yours Truly, rancette at 10:58 AM PDT
Updated: Tuesday, 28 September 2004 2:14 PM PDT
Monday, 27 September 2004
My new online friend
Okay, all my old online friends, don't get jealous. I still love you. But I have a new friend. Ms Lauren.

You know, we seemed to hit it off, at least I hope she thought so. Cause I ticked her off on Rance's blog. Well, she didn't sound angry. So I sent her a private email on what I'm planning to unveil on Thursday, just so she wouldn't have to wait.

Of course, to my other blogging friends, I'm planning to upload my segment Tuesday afternoon/evening on this site, right here, your regular programming, if all goes well (if I don't have to go to the hospital for tonsil removal--which isn't likely but possible).

Maybe I'm not supposed to post this info on "pardon the interruption", and if someone high in charge at the Rance blog asks me to remove it, I will.

Anyhow, let me pass on Ms Lauren's link:
Ms Lauren

As a rule, I like keeping people in suspense. But if it's a matter of torture, which this instance kind of was, I don't really believe in it. So I had to tell her everything. I have some really screwy ideas for Pardon the Interruption and I hope no one gets too upset. If you do, well, uh, um, too bad!

See you tomorrow. Please check back. I will be here if I'm alive and well.

PS- If you have visited my Mindsay blog, I am just returning to sanity, so please don't be scared off.

Yours Truly, rancette at 7:53 PM PDT
Updated: Monday, 27 September 2004 8:00 PM PDT

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