Rance Among Us
Mood:  mischievious
This conversation takes place between Quentin Tarantino, George Clooney, and Orlando Bloom. Adam Sandler makes a guest appearance. Offensive language not used, but you can imagine that it is.

GEORGE: How's it hanging, QT?

QT: Pretty good.

GEORGE: You know, we should start hanging out again.

QT: When did we ever hang out?

GEORGE: You know. On the set From Dusk Till Dawn.

QT: You vampire freak.

GEORGE: I don't care about vampires.

QT: Yeah, you do. I bet you're Rance.

GEORGE: That's a dirty name in Hollywood. I'm not Rance.

ORLANDO: Who's Rance?

George and QT laugh at Orlando's stupidity.

QT: You're in Hollywood, and you don't know who Rance is?

ORLANDO: I'm from England!

GEORGE: Get a life!

QT: You need to read Variety, you punk.

Orlando Bloom starts crying. Adam Sandler chastises George and QT.

ADAM: You guys only know who Rance is, because you've been accused of being Rance.

GEORGE/QT: I'm not Rance!

ADAM: O, Rance is this dude who posts on the internet. He claims to be a Hollywood actor.

ORLANDO: Couldn't be me. I'm from England.

GEORGE: (to Adam) And he could be you, but you don't have enough wit.

ORLANDO (intrigued): So why do they think Quentin is Rance?

ADAM: Well, there's this blog that Quentin started.

QUENTIN: Only I didn't start it.

ADAM: Well, yeah, it's not Quentin's blog. But there's this guy who is pretending to be Quentin.

ORLANDO: For all we know, it could be Quentin?

Quentin slaps Orlando on the back side of his head.

QT: It's not me, dork.

ORLANDO: So how do I know George isn't Rance?

GEORGE: Hey, I'm not Rance. But if it were between Quentin and me, I'd be Rance.

QT: I'm so much wittier than you.

GEORGE: Yeah, but the guy on the fake QT Blog cusses a mile a minute.

QT: So?

GEORGE: Rance doesn't cuss.

QT: So? He's cool. And I am so much cooler than you.

ADAM: Orlando, what are my initials?

ORLANDO: Huh?

ADAM: What are my intitials?

ORLANDO: A. S.

GEORGE: You're not trying to say what I think you're trying to say, Adam?

ADAM: I'm the Administrative Staff.

Orlando has a lost look on his face.

QUENTIN: Why'd you tell him, Adam? You NUT CASE!

GEORGE: Wait, you knew about this Quentin?

QUENTIN: Yeah.

GEORGE: And you didn't tell me?

Quentin brushes George away.

QUENTIN: Look, we're not pals OK?

GEORGE: But I really want to be in the Vega Brothers prequel!

QUENTIN: Is that what you're after? Man! You were just chumming up with me to get a role in my movie?

GEORGE: No.

QUENTIN: That is so low.

GEORGE: No.

QUENTIN: Yes, it is.

GEORGE: You could never be Rance.

ADAM: He is.

QUENTIN: Look, you wanted to be in Inglorious B******, Adam. You go around talking about things that shouldn't be talked about, I'll have to reconsider you for the role.

ADAM: Hey, you'd be lucky to have me in your movie!

QUENTIN: Oh, yeah? Why have you been slaving as my Administrative Staff then, Adam? Hadn't you gone too far to turn back now?

GEORGE (to Quentin): You're Rance?

ORLANDO: HUH!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!??