Rance and Rancette Go To the Oscars
Topic: Rance & Rancette
Part Two of Two

No limo shows up, even an hour past the designated time.  Rancette 
shows up to the Oscars in a light pink Versace gown.  Security 
guards take her away, because she has no invitation.

Rancette is sitting in jail, next to crazy lunatics.

			RANCETTE
	   	       (to guard)
	Excuse me, could we watch the Oscars?

			GUARD
	Ha, looks like you're all dressed up with nowhere 
	to go.

			RANCETTE
	Well, I was supposed to go to the Oscars with 
	this actor I met, but he stood me up.  He's so high 
	and mighty.  I hope he loses!!!

			GUARD
	He's nominated?  Where did you meet him?

			RANCETTE
	On the Internet.  We were both in the L.A. area so...

			GUARD
	So have you ever met him?

			RANCETTE
	No. 

			GUARD
	Who did he claim to be?

			RANCETTE
	He didn't say.  I sent him a picture of me and gave 
	him my address.

			GUARD
	That was really stupid.  Hey, I'm glad you're 
	in jail.  He might have tried to break into your 
	house tonight while you were at the Oscars.

			RANCETTE
	How could he break into my house if he were at the 
	Oscars?

			GUARD
	Dummy.  He isn't a Hollywood actor.  He lied to you.

			RANCETTE
	But his name is Rance.  He's an anonymous poster 
	on the Internet who...

			GUARD
	Holy ****!  You don't mean THE Rance?  (chuckles)
	Boy, he sured pulled one over on you.

			ANNOUNCER ON TV (O.C.)
	Please welcome the presenter for Best Actor... 
	Renee Zellweger!

Renee Zellweger walks to the podium.  

			RENEE (V.O.)
	The nominees are as follows... Denzel Washington 
	for "Manchurian Candidate", Jim Carrey for "Eternal
	Sunshine of the Spotless Mind", Tom Cruise for 
	"Colla-la-teral", Jude Law for "I Heart Huckabee's" 
	and Colin Farrell for "At Home at the End of the World".

Camera shows Denzel, trying to keep his cool.  It cuts to Jim Carrey, with 
pursed lips and a sweating brow.  Tom Cruise winces when Renee stumbles over 
announcing his movie.  Jude Law leans a little too forward in his chair.  
He is anxious.  Colin Farrell expects to lose and is rolling his eyes.

			RENEE
	And the winner is... JIM CARREY! Wow.

Jim Carrey races to the podium, briefly kissing his ex-girlfriend.  
He pulls out his list.

			JIM CARREY
	I have an important announcement.  I would like to 
	take this opportunity to announce to the world 
	that I am... Rance!   I'd like to thank Waxwing, 
	Robyn, Rubber Duckie, Gus Openshaw, Shorty, Jay, Lora, 
	Ginny, Gigglechick, Wheeler Jones, Agent Pepito 
	and BabyGirlCrow.  For all you fools at the Academy,
	it's high time someone recognized my genius.

The music starts playing.  The camera shows Denzel with a "what the **** look" 
on his face.  The camera cuts to Colin Farrell, crying.  

FADE OUT

THE END