Rance and Rancette Part V
Mood:  energetic
Topic: Rance & Rancette
Please read Rance & Rancette Part IV, before reading this one. There are spoilers. Rance's identity was revealed last time.

So, I thought about talking to my agent about a Rance & Rancette script, based on postings to my blog. But that wouldn't work, because:

I do this for the love of it and am not trying to make money (don't tell my agent!!)

My (new) agent doesn't know I'm Rancette.

Even though Marlon Brando had millions of fans, Rance only has thousands, and the movie might not break even.

I hope you enjoy this installment. Keep in mind it's fiction. So without further adieu...

			RANCE & RANCETTE PART V
			       by Rancette

				RANCETTE
		Well, I have an open mind.  I believe in 
		communicating beyond the grave.

				RANCE
		I mean, technology is so great!  It's so simple
		for dead people to send messages these days.  
		John Lennon could communicate with Yoko now, but 
		he's not Internet savvy!

				RANCETTE
		So what would you like me to do, Rance?  Marlon?
		What should I call you?

				RANCE
		Anything you please.

				RANCETTE
		I didn't know they had computers in hell?

				RANCE
		I never said I was in hell, you *#&@^!

				RANCETTE
		Well, I figured they used the term "gone 
		fishing" a little liberally, anyhow.  Where 
		are you?

				RANCE
		I'm not at liberty to say.  But rest assured, it's 
		somewhere where I'm able to communicate.

				RANCETTE
		Wait, a second.  You said you found out from your
		"administrative staff" that I sent you a picture of
		Karen O., instead of me.  There's no "adminis-
		trative" staff.

				RANCE
		Well, I wasn't intending to reveal my identity, Ran-
		cette.  I had to tell you something you would believe.
		Would you actually believe that a spirit of a 19
		year old girl who died in a car crash told me 
		that?  No, I don't think so.

				RANCETTE
		I see, so you're trapped in some sort of "spirit"
		world.  I'm sorry, but I still think you're in hell.

				RANCE
		You're really ticking me off, Rancette.  There
		are only so many people who I can talk to, now that
		I'm dead.

				RANCETTE
		My apologies.  This is kinda cool.  You know if this
		were a movie, it'd be the Sixth Sense.

				RANCE
		Yeah, I auditioned for that movie.  But M. Night said 
		"No way would Olivia Williams be with a disgusting
		old guy like you."  I think Olivia is hot and I've
		always regretting not working with her...

				RANCETTE
		Gross, Rance! TMI!  Wait a second, who are you really?
		I have to be naive thinking that I'm chatting with 
		Marlon Brando, first of all.  A dead person.  Maybe I
		could handle that.  But certain things just don't
		fit.

				RANCE
		Like what?

				RANCETTE
		Rance liked to hang out in the Vatican chat room 
		and Marlon Brando was an athiest.

				RANCE
		Just because I'm an athiest doesn't mean that I don't
		enjoy chatting with the Vatican.

				RANCETTE
		Well, it seemed unlikely.  What about all those
		posts about all those different places you were 
		visiting?  You were too old and decrepit to 
		travel in your condition, Marlon. Ha, ha, gotcha now!

TO BE CONTINUED...