rance & rancette
Mood:  silly
Topic: Rance & Rancette
I think the reason why rance's blog is so exciting is that a blog is only as good as its commentators. And rance has some pretty good ones.

I complained that rance didn't post enough comments, that he was too choosy. Ever since then, he has posted every single comment that has come along. At least he started posting my comments. I only had about one or two or three comments posted on his site. But I have posted four or five or six. Before I created this "rancette" handle, I had two other names.

But do you think rance posted anything I said? No, so I took a different approach, after the first two attempts failed. Since the name "rancette" appealed to his ego, he posted my comments under that name.

I had an idea last night: to write a letter from rance to me. Of course, by morning it evolved into a conversation between rance and me.

So here goes. Please keep in mind, this is fiction!

		RANCE
	Your blog will never be as good as mine,
	Rancette!

		RANCETTE
	Well, I don't know. My audience is steadily
	growing.  And yours is steadily...declining!

		RANCE
	So interest in my blog is waning? But yours
	is a spin-off of mine!  If people are tired
	of my blog, imagine just how tired they will 
	get of your blog.

		RANCETTE
	You're right.  I should just give up now.

		RANCE
	There's a girl.

		RANCETTE
	But I want to know one thing first.

		RANCE
	What's that?

		RANCETTE
	Are you Owen Wilson or Jim Carrey... or
	God forbid, GEORGE CLOONEY!?  Because if
	you are, I would either not be able to 
	contain myself, or I would lose all respect
	for you.

		RANCE
	Rancette, tell me one thing.

		RANCETTE
	Sure, what?

		RANCE
	You write like a man who is trying to sound
	like a woman.  Are you really female?

		RANCETTE
	I object, your Honor!  Why do you say that? 
	Of course I'm a girl!

		RANCE
	Show me a picture, then.

A file transfer takes place between Rance and Rancette.

		RANCETTE
	So what do you think?

		RANCE
	Rancette!  You're gorgeous.

		RANCETTE
	Wait, was this just a ploy to get me to show
	you my picture?

		RANCE
	Yes, and you took the bait like an actress on
	her first day in Hollywood.

		RANCETTE
	Well, I suppose it would be pointless asking,
	but could I see a picture of you?

		RANCE
	Of course, it's only fair.


A file transfer takes place between Rance and Rancette.

Rancette gasps.  The JPEG reveals an old, wrinkly man,
the actor formerly known as ....

TO BE CONTINUED...